The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i think i just lost a toe
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
