Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize