In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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