her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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