All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
