So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
