names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
