true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
