people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
