so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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