Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
