He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
