hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I skipped work to stalk him.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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