Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
