Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
