I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
