So drunk its hurt
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
