After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize