I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
