What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
