he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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