Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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