he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
