try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this boner is exhausting
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
