Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
