we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
