My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
