Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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