were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
