I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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