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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was your Memorial Day?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

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• (209): View more from California

  it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip

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• (850): View more from Florida

  hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

  (904): View more from Florida

  not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes

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• (607): View more from New York

  Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.

  (426): View more from

  So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.

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• (585): View more from New York

  So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I'm drunk and he's still weird.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?

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