Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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