I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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