Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
