I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There are leaves in my underwear?
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