all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
