I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
