Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
