i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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