So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
