Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
