She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
