she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
