addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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