hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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