The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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