He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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