i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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