Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
