So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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