I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
