now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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