I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize