Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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