Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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