Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
