I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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