i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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