So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
operation have a gay friend backfired
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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