I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
