I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
