We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
