Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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