i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
